I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
