I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You made out with two different species that night
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
