You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize