I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
