oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>