I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
