And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
