Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize