so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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