some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
The air taste purple.
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