hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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