Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
