if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
