is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
