"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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