she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
