It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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