it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
