Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize