I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
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