Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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