that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
