is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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