lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
