ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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