I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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