ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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