I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
