if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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