i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
