WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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