she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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