So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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