Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
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