Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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