i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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