I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
