Need sex. Gaining weight.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
