Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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