Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
