when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
