So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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