So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize