He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
