I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
