Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
