Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
