No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
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I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
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She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.