So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back