whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Not as such, no.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.