i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.