I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Can I color on your dick again?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
