im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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