i just had sex bonerless
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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