Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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