Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
