its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
