i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
