Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Duck Duck Cougar?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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