using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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