Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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