in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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